That's Why I hate Singing

For some people singing is a pleasure thing to do. Just by singing out loud, they can release their excessive stress, that’s why karaoke business never slack. Even for those who blessed with “golden voice”, they can try their fortune on entertainment field by become a singer. What a pleasure thing to do! 

 

Singing

But for me, singing is my nightmare, I never singing for almost eleven years!!! Not a single tone or a hum comes out from my mouth. I don’t even dare to sing in my bathroom, place where everyone can sing freely. This nightmare started when I was in grade three. Here is my story.

I remembered my 3^th grade of Elementary School teacher, just called her Mrs. A (not a real name). Mrs. A was a brilliant teacher. She could master all the material which covered six courses (at that time, an Elementary School teacher has a responsibility to teach not only for one course, to teach all courses in one grade). One day, she created a vocal group to perform in matins. I was included in that choir, not because of my beautiful voice, but because all the third grader must join the choir otherwise they would be consider as absence.

The first rehearsal, everything went run smoothly, I join the second or bass voice because I had a low tone. I had to open my mouth into a big O shape in order to create bass sound. There was no problem at all on the second, third and next practice. Until a week before the D-day, Mrs A found out that there was a problem on the choir’s voice. She said that there was no harmonization between the first and second voices. She looked very stressful about that. In her fury, she said that, “Come on guys; show me your best shoot. I know that your voice not as bad as Dewangga’s, his voice totally rubbish.” Suddenly the class laughed at me and Mrs. A spontaneously said, “Oh, I looks like there is Dewangga here, I don’t realize that you are here.” Obviously, Mrs. A did not know my presence in that room. I did not know why she said something like that, maybe she wanted to encourage us by showed the bad example, I, or she just “accidentally” said my name, but she had left wound in my heart. From that day, I stooped singing

Eleven years passed without any symphony flowing from my mouth. Until me and my friends, Andre, Adit and Eki, decided to create a band named TMPN band. I played bass in the band and as backing vocal. I practice in my home every day and I have to sing in order to enhance my performance. From that time, I started to sing again.

Playing bass

In football game, there is a wise word, “attacking is the best way to defend”. But this sentence cannot be applied in educational field. As an educator, she is not supposed to attack her student’s weaknesses. Teacher’s duty is not always about delivering the material to the students, she needs to be more “human”. Education is not always about student’s intelligence, because student’s emotion has significant role for the successfulness of learning process. Students are living things that will react differently if you treat them positively or negatively. In my case, I react really negative toward my teacher’s treatment. I hope there will be no more person who suffers trauma because of their teachers.

Arsenal, My Dad and My Life

Hello, this is my first post. Hope you enjoy it.

I still remember this story like it was happened yesterday.

When I was a young boy, in 1998, my father woke me up in the midnight. He said that he wanted to show me something interesting. I had no idea what it was about. I thought it was my birthday and my father wanted to give me surprise. But I was wrong. My father only wanted to show me a football match; it was World Cup 1998 quarter final match, between Netherlands against Argentina. During the match, my father never stooped explaining about football. He said that soccer was the most popular sport in the world. He also told me about how he was crazy about Netherlands because their way of soccer, total football, was so entertaining. My father never stooped supporting Holland team since he was a teenager. 

my father and my mother

For your information, the only competition they had won was Euro 1988. Netherlands was reached final stage up in World Cup 1974, 1978 (at that time). Ironically, they had never win the World Cup competition even for once. That was why people dubbed Holland as “crown less winner”. Back to the match, my father said that the Holland player who wore the 8 jersey, Dennis Bergkamp, was his favorite player. Although I understood nothing about football, I could see that Bergkamp was magnificent player because Holland supporters shouted whenever Bergkamp dribbled the ball. At the end of the match, Bergkamp helped his team to win over Argentina with a goal and an assist from him. Not only in Holland national team, Bergkamp also lethal for his team, Arsenal.

That night changed my world. It looked like I was falling in love with this sport at the first sight. From that moment, I idolized Bergkamp, Netherlands and Arsenal. I always use Arsenal team every time I play games like: Pro Evolution Soccer, Winning Eleven, Championship Manager and Football Manager. My father and I never missed to watch every single Netherlands and Arsenal match. We always support for arsenal although they never win any competition since 2005. But my father always said that do not easily change your faith. It is not because you are great so you can be a winner, but you are great because you can be a winner. He keeps remind me not to desperate whatever happened in your life. How thick the wall in front of you, you can still climb over it. In my hardest time, I always remember what my father said to me. The only thing that I want to say to my father is: “Thank you for being the greatest father in the world. Don’t you know how much I want to reply all your kindness to me?”

But my father has passed away before I can do it. Maybe that is why my tears always dropped whenever I watch Netherlands or Arsenal football match, because I realize that I cannot watch those match with my father again.  

Now I have my own little family, and I hope that I can be a great husband and father for my family, as good as you father…

Me and my happy little family